








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 363 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 238 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3665 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,587 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5046 | 35% |
| Smokes | 4086 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2294 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3161 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $693,348 of utility $97 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 97 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AngelMichael | 75% | 20 |
| #2 | boosh | 68% | 25 |
| #3 | red bull guzzler | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | AJay | 59% | 61 |
| #5 | Stickytoe | 57% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SerumTryNoob | 54% | 35 |
| #9 | :) | 54% | 69 |
| #10 | cKg | 46% | 52 |
| #11 | Pr1me | 45% | 29 |
| #12 | Toste | 36% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AJay | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | red bull guzzler | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | Pr1me | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | 245 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| #2 | AJay | 202 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #3 | SerumTryNoob | 190 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | :) | 143 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #5 | cKg | 134 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | red bull guzzler | +2.22 | 92 | 62 |
| #2 | gamble | +1.77 | 82 | 65 |
| #3 | SerumTryNoob | +1.53 | 87 | 68 |
| #4 | :) | +1.30 | 86 | 56 |
| #5 | cKg | +1.18 | 93 | 64 |





