








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 778 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 727 matches | ||
| Faceit | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 136 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6883 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6572 | 21% |
| Smokes | 7972 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 8076 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9080 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,050,088 of utility $142 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | FallN | 44% | 441 |
| #11 | AcornNuggets | 42% | 196 |
| #12 | iiCaptain | 42% | 281 |
| #13 | Skysong | 42% | 185 |
| #14 | TimbsAndAForty | 38% | 58 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -abso|ution- | 41 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | AcornNuggets | 21 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | vandal_ | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Dr. Butt Humpest | 15 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Candy Corn Buddah | 14 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FallN | 1125 | 0.12 | 28 min |
| #2 | Skysong | 1117 | 0.29 | 20 min |
| #3 | iiCaptain | 916 | 0.16 | 21 min |
| #4 | -abso|ution- | 662 | 0.04 | 17 min |
| #5 | Dr. Butt Humpest | 631 | 0.12 | 11 min |





