








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 971 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1101 matches | ||
| Faceit | 108 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 20 different maps





Our logs show 149 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




71 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10187 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,436 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4086 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5434 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 11044 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 6872 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $7,505,199 of utility $244 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 749 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Skysong | 43% | 253 |
| #13 | FallN | 43% | 687 |
| #14 | AcornNuggets | 43% | 356 |
| #15 | iiCaptain | 42% | 416 |
| #16 | TimbsAndAForty | 41% | 144 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pb | 43 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | AcornNuggets | 32 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | vandal_ | 26 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | Dr. Butt Humpest | 25 | 0.0034 |
| #5 | Candy Corn Buddah | 23 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FallN | 1783 | 0.12 | 47 min |
| #2 | Skysong | 1536 | 0.29 | 26 min |
| #3 | iiCaptain | 1327 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #4 | Pb | 1149 | 0.06 | 23 min |
| #5 | Dr. Butt Humpest | 959 | 0.13 | 17 min |





