








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 436 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 484 matches | ||
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 105 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4021 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,120 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1895 | 10% |
| Smokes | 7052 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 5337 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3836 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,029,192 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 174 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | FallN | 40% | 237 |
| #12 | wAKe | 40% | 43 |
| #13 | iiCaptain | 39% | 263 |
| #14 | jax- | 38% | 39 |
| #15 | Skysong | 38% | 103 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -abso|ution- | 27 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Pb | 25 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | vandal_ | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #4 | AcornNuggets | 16 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | iiCaptain | 9 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | iiCaptain | 833 | 0.15 | 18 min |
| #2 | Pb | 637 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #3 | Skysong | 625 | 0.29 | 10 min |
| #4 | FallN | 621 | 0.12 | 17 min |
| #5 | Dr. Butt Humpest | 483 | 0.13 | 9 min |





