








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 354 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 109 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1746 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,675 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1646 | 35% |
| Smokes | 1480 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 371 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 1178 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,004,627 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 258 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rY1 | 60% | 52 |
| #2 | NeoNoi | 53% | 40 |
| #3 | Zexuq | 50% | 84 |
| #4 | doxxscast | 49% | 89 |
| #5 | Gumi | 43% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Sizzlez | 41% | 17 |
| #8 | DEEGE | 40% | 20 |
| #9 | Theorematic | 40% | 68 |
| #10 | Disappointment | 36% | 56 |
| #11 | BxconPancakes | 23% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gumi | 17 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | Theorematic | 8 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | doxxscast | 7 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Zexuq | 7 | 0.0039 |
| #5 | Disappointment | 5 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | doxxscast | 330 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | Gumi | 303 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | Theorematic | 200 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Zexuq | 195 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Lambdaman | 194 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sizzlez | +4.58 | 87 | 60 |
| #2 | rY1 | +2.05 | 62 | 69 |
| #3 | doxxscast | +1.51 | 69 | 53 |
| #4 | Disappointment | +1.12 | 72 | 53 |
| #5 | BxconPancakes | +0.65 | 52 | 42 |





