








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Premier | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
804 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,722 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 818 | 30% |
| Smokes | 897 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 467 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 540 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $363,534 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 51 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | 88% | 8 |
| #2 | The Doink | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | fekarei | 60% | 5 |
| #4 | Kyoto | 59% | 22 |
| #5 | ./ BurneyProMod | 50% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | goobster | 44% | 9 |
| #11 | Gn Streaks | 44% | 25 |
| #12 | Trottah | 43% | 7 |
| #13 | stinkyjohn10 | 33% | 6 |
| #14 | OFaR | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OFaR | 7 | 0.0277 |
| #2 | blakert- | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | ✪ OD | 3 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | JeffLaFlavor | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Gn Streaks | 2 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffLaFlavor | 261 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | blakert- | 192 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #3 | ✪ OD | 117 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | OFaR | 74 | 0.29 | 1 min |
| #5 | ./ BurneyProMod | 65 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fekarei | +4.84 | 68 | 63 |
| #2 | The World's Luckiest Man Webtoon | +2.49 | 61 | 71 |
| #3 | JeffLaFlavor | +1.75 | 76 | 64 |
| #4 | ./ BurneyProMod | +1.26 | 79 | 73 |
| #5 | blakert- | +0.95 | 71 | 55 |





