








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 617 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 127 matches | ||
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3313 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4254 | 36% |
| Smokes | 4047 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 978 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 2609 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,245,055 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 746 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiger | 68% | 19 |
| #2 | Jimothy | 60% | 25 |
| #3 | JeffLaFlavor | 52% | 52 |
| #4 | Trottah | 50% | 24 |
| #5 | Exploding | 50% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | xCob | 50% | 74 |
| #7 | Kobey | 44% | 59 |
| #8 | Gn Streaks | 43% | 89 |
| #9 | goobster | 42% | 24 |
| #10 | 7o | 39% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xCob | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | 7o | 5 | 0.0095 |
| #3 | Gn Streaks | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | JeffLaFlavor | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | goobster | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffLaFlavor | 260 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| #2 | xCob | 186 | 0.12 | 5 min |
| #3 | Kobey | 169 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Exploding | 138 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | goobster | 129 | 0.26 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tiger | +3.70 | 87 | 50 |
| #2 | JeffLaFlavor | +1.53 | 67 | 64 |
| #3 | blakert- | +1.23 | 78 | 57 |
| #4 | Trottah | +0.88 | 64 | 70 |
| #5 | Kobey | +0.82 | 78 | 53 |





