








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 37 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1270 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,423 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1396 | 32% |
| Smokes | 1246 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 980 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 801 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $475,824 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 78 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffLaFlavor | 64% | 14 |
| #2 | blakert- | 50% | 74 |
| #3 | Jimothy | 50% | 76 |
| #4 | tiger | 47% | 64 |
| #5 | Exploding | 47% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blakert- | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | stinkyjohn10 | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | tiger | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Jimothy | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Gn Streaks | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blakert- | 305 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Jimothy | 220 | 0.14 | 6 min |
| #3 | stinkyjohn10 | 104 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #4 | tiger | 102 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | JeffLaFlavor | 90 | 0.30 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffLaFlavor | +4.77 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | tiger | +3.75 | 87 | 48 |
| #3 | blakert- | +1.84 | 79 | 53 |
| #4 | Jimothy | -0.06 | 75 | 64 |
| #5 | stinkyjohn10 | -0.19 | 68 | 39 |





