








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 130 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 80 matches | ||
| Faceit | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,549 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2527 | 39% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 829 | 13% |
| Molotovs | 1395 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $570,874 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exploding | 50% | 34 |
| #2 | Kyoto | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | blakert- | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | ./ BurneyProMod | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | JeffLaFlavor | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exploding | 50% | 34 |
| #2 | Kyoto | 49% | 37 |
| #3 | blakert- | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | ./ BurneyProMod | 46% | 13 |
| #5 | JeffLaFlavor | 42% | 50 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Exploding | 2 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | JeffLaFlavor | 1 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JeffLaFlavor | 161 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #2 | Kyoto | 99 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #3 | Exploding | 70 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #4 | blakert- | 66 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #5 | ./ BurneyProMod | 62 | 0.21 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ./ BurneyProMod | +2.34 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | JeffLaFlavor | +1.71 | 71 | 63 |
| #3 | blakert- | +0.56 | 72 | 57 |
| #4 | Kyoto | +0.49 | 71 | 56 |
| #5 | Exploding | -0.31 | 74 | 63 |





