








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 230 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 396 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2037 | 16% |
| Smokes | 4432 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4110 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2242 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $925,637 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 348 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrid | 47% | 53 |
| #2 | Tildor ♡ | 46% | 391 |
| #3 | george | 45% | 285 |
| #4 | Tipsy Tobb | 45% | 85 |
| #5 | Townidiot | 44% | 96 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Townidiot | 44% | 96 |
| #6 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 44% | 275 |
| #7 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 43% | 344 |
| #8 | 𝕶𝖓𝖚𝖌𝖊𝖓 | 41% | 71 |
| #9 | BaZ | 41% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tildor ♡ | 17 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 13 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | george | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 6 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | BaZ | 4 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 1056 | 0.15 | 29 min |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 544 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 313 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #4 | george | 119 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | 97 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrid | +2.64 | 57 | 50 |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | +2.51 | 48 | 69 |
| #3 | BaZ | +1.15 | 67 | 57 |
| #4 | george | +0.96 | 49 | 53 |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | +0.42 | 64 | 51 |





