








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 699 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 603 matches | ||
| Wingman | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 99 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6896 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,888 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 15% |
| Smokes | 5532 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 4136 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3780 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,972,097 of utility $188 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 141 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Astrid | 51% | 67 |
| #2 | 11yo 𝕶𝖆𝖌𝖌𝖊 (SE) | 48% | 96 |
| #3 | 𝕶𝖓𝖚𝖌𝖊𝖓 | 48% | 126 |
| #4 | Townidiot | 47% | 127 |
| #5 | Tildor ♡ | 47% | 513 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Tildor ♡ | 47% | 513 |
| #6 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 47% | 379 |
| #7 | Tipsy Tobb | 47% | 178 |
| #8 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 46% | 617 |
| #9 | Vulcan | 45% | 285 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 18 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Vulcan | 17 | 0.0029 |
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 16 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 15 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | Townidiot | 4 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 2020 | 0.16 | 56 min |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 704 | 0.09 | 17 min |
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 384 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #4 | Vulcan | 220 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #5 | Tipsy Tobb | 193 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | +2.66 | 49 | 70 |
| #2 | Astrid | +1.14 | 63 | 49 |
| #3 | Tipsy Tobb | +0.90 | 69 | 50 |
| #4 | george | +0.66 | 48 | 54 |
| #5 | Tildor ♡ | -0.38 | 28 | 62 |





