








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 49 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 183 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 47 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1749 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,116 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 407 | 6% |
| Smokes | 1501 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2805 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 2403 | 34% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,772 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | Tildor ♡ | 49% | 190 |
| #5 | george | 47% | 127 |
| #6 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 46% | 158 |
| #7 | Vulcan | 44% | 96 |
| #8 | 𝕶𝖓𝖚𝖌𝖊𝖓 | 26% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tildor ♡ | 9 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #3 | Vulcan | 7 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #5 | george | 3 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 575 | 0.17 | 14 min |
| #2 | Vaniljsås Enjoyer | 335 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | Tildor ♡ | 143 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | Vulcan | 77 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | george | 60 | 0.02 | 1 min |





