








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 743 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 491 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 72 matches | ||
| Wingman | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 133 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7672 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 21,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8154 | 38% |
| Smokes | 5883 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5581 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1970 | 9% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,741,135 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 516 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Tildor ♡ | 48% | 484 |
| #7 | george | 47% | 379 |
| #8 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 46% | 410 |
| #9 | Tipsy Tobb | 44% | 135 |
| #10 | Vulcan | 44% | 275 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tildor ♡ | 18 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Vulcan | 16 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | george | 13 | 0.0017 |
| #4 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 8 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | Townidiot | 6 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝕭𝖏ö𝖗𝖓𝖊 | 1322 | 0.15 | 36 min |
| #2 | Tildor ♡ | 374 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | Vulcan | 202 | 0.03 | 5 min |
| #4 | Tipsy Tobb | 174 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #5 | george | 140 | 0.02 | 3 min |





