








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 190 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




87 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2412 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,191 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2979 | 24% |
| Smokes | 3734 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2606 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2872 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,212,780 of utility $154 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 408 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigblue1124 | 53% | 51 |
| #2 | Dadhelpmeplz | 52% | 73 |
| #3 | Jim Lahey | 44% | 89 |
| #4 | fatnuts | 44% | 178 |
| #5 | Johnny Thunder | 42% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | A Wicked Chewna | 42% | 223 |
| #7 | Raticus Prime | 40% | 255 |
| #8 | Zer0 ☢ | 40% | 73 |
| #9 | Xtisi | 38% | 77 |
| #10 | Jummy Nutron | 37% | 83 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raticus Prime | 63 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | A Wicked Chewna | 45 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | Johnny Thunder | 39 | 0.0361 |
| #4 | fatnuts | 14 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Jummy Nutron | 8 | 0.0046 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raticus Prime | 1809 | 0.35 | 48 min |
| #2 | A Wicked Chewna | 641 | 0.14 | 15 min |
| #3 | fatnuts | 403 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | Zer0 ☢ | 162 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | Johnny Thunder | 154 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bigblue1124 | +4.05 | 77 | 53 |
| #2 | Johnny Thunder | +2.06 | 41 | 50 |
| #3 | Jummy Nutron | +0.34 | 49 | 53 |
| #4 | A Wicked Chewna | +0.28 | 62 | 61 |
| #5 | fatnuts | +0.21 | 57 | 68 |





