








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 181 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2393 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,660 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2533 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2365 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2655 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2107 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,254,807 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 111 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xophor | 59% | 17 |
| #2 | bigblue1124 | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Jim Lahey | 51% | 91 |
| #4 | Xtisi | 49% | 68 |
| #5 | Jummy Nutron | 46% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Johnny Thunder | 44% | 50 |
| #8 | sweet hoggins | 44% | 178 |
| #9 | Raticus Prime | 43% | 228 |
| #10 | A Wicked Chewna | 42% | 168 |
| #11 | Zer0 ☢ | 39% | 87 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raticus Prime | 59 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | sweet hoggins | 44 | 0.0121 |
| #3 | Johnny Thunder | 30 | 0.0302 |
| #4 | A Wicked Chewna | 29 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Xtisi | 8 | 0.0058 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raticus Prime | 1554 | 0.34 | 41 min |
| #2 | sweet hoggins | 481 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | A Wicked Chewna | 445 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #4 | Zer0 ☢ | 194 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Johnny Thunder | 153 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xophor | +4.69 | 81 | 15 |
| #2 | bigblue1124 | +3.47 | 63 | 41 |
| #3 | Johnny Thunder | +2.98 | 44 | 54 |
| #4 | Jummy Nutron | +0.75 | 48 | 51 |
| #5 | A Wicked Chewna | +0.35 | 62 | 61 |





