








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 730 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 105 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,837 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1612 | 18% |
| Smokes | 3238 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 1972 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2015 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,543,181 of utility $237 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pawki | 51% | 80 |
| #2 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 50% | 90 |
| #3 | ryan | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | #1 Overpass Hater | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | ChanceVic | 41% | 51 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ryan | 48% | 62 |
| #4 | #1 Overpass Hater | 48% | 29 |
| #5 | ChanceVic | 41% | 51 |
| #6 | whynter | 40% | 35 |
| #7 | züdy | 39% | 54 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pawki | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #2 | ryan | 7 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | züdy | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | whynter | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 2 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 594 | 0.32 | 12 min |
| #2 | pawki | 330 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| #3 | züdy | 189 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | ryan | 166 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | #1 Overpass Hater | 68 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whynter | +3.00 | 85 | 14 |
| #2 | ryan | +2.61 | 83 | 63 |
| #3 | pawki | +1.62 | 71 | 50 |
| #4 | #1 Overpass Hater | +1.31 | 67 | 38 |
| #5 | züdy | +1.07 | 62 | 52 |





