








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2128 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 267 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 130 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 108 matches | ||
| Wingman | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 56 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
14706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,588 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7707 | 44% |
| Smokes | 3763 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 3425 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2693 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $5,319,307 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Str8 Jorkin It | 58% | 267 |
| #2 | CEO of Goon LLC™ | 57% | 170 |
| #3 | pawki | 56% | 108 |
| #4 | whynter | 54% | 146 |
| #5 | ♿ 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃 ☭ | 51% | 239 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChanceVic | 13 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | whynter | 12 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | ♿ 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃 ☭ | 11 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | pawki | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Str8 Jorkin It | 6 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pawki | 470 | 0.21 | 9 min |
| #2 | ♿ 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃 ☭ | 378 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | CEO of Goon LLC™ | 334 | 0.11 | 6 min |
| #4 | ChanceVic | 309 | 0.05 | 8 min |
| #5 | BOYKISSER NullVexis | 236 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | whynter | +3.73 | 80 | 22 |
| #2 | Semicent (Evil) | +3.27 | 69 | 41 |
| #3 | züdy | +2.23 | 64 | 46 |
| #4 | pawki | +2.14 | 75 | 49 |
| #5 | ♿ 𝒟𝒶𝓌𝓃 ☭ | +0.09 | 40 | 37 |





