








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 179 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3398 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,841 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9160 | 51% |
| Smokes | 2973 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 3570 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 2138 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $533,697 of utility $47 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | pawki | 54% | 39 |
| #9 | #1 Overpass Hater | 53% | 232 |
| #10 | XyoBunBun | 50% | 90 |
| #11 | ryan | 49% | 149 |
| #12 | Blade | 38% | 34 |





