








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 202 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3763 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,431 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2596 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2920 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 2001 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 914 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $945,090 of utility $150 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 699 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal Jamal | 80% | 20 |
| #2 | Mako🦈 | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | #1 Overpass Hater | 53% | 131 |
| #4 | ice barrage | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Kiska | 50% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 49% | 149 |
| #7 | XyoBunBun | 48% | 62 |
| #8 | Tobes | 46% | 37 |
| #9 | pawki | 45% | 20 |
| #10 | Gmo | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | #1 Overpass Hater | 5 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | ice barrage | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Kiska | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | Mako🦈 | 2 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | C̳a̳p̳t̳a̳i̳n̳ | 899 | 0.29 | 17 min |
| #2 | #1 Overpass Hater | 266 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Mako🦈 | 164 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | ice barrage | 153 | 0.30 | 3 min |
| #5 | Gmo | 102 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jamal Jamal | +7.17 | 84 | 71 |
| #2 | ice barrage | +4.76 | 88 | 70 |
| #3 | ryan | +2.11 | 80 | 59 |
| #4 | pawki | +1.71 | 64 | 53 |
| #5 | Mako🦈 | +0.57 | 50 | 57 |





