








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1180 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 443 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




32 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5648 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,914 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6991 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5999 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 4381 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 6543 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,809,953 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 523 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | 62% | 37 |
| #2 | Vikkern N T C | 59% | 46 |
| #3 | gabe | 57% | 95 |
| #4 | tomi | 57% | 122 |
| #5 | Norways | 56% | 303 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Hakki | 53% | 290 |
| #7 | rns | 52% | 90 |
| #8 | Rammster | 51% | 63 |
| #9 | Nikolai | 50% | 468 |
| #10 | kQrsfarereN | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nikolai | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | Norways | 17 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Hakki | 14 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | gabe | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | sherman | 9 | 0.0114 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hakki | 1059 | 0.17 | 27 min |
| #2 | Norways | 1040 | 0.16 | 27 min |
| #3 | Nikolai | 968 | 0.10 | 23 min |
| #4 | rns | 450 | 0.24 | 11 min |
| #5 | tomi | 403 | 0.16 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sherman | +3.03 | 91 | 67 |
| #2 | Norways | +2.55 | 81 | 62 |
| #3 | Vikkern N T C | +1.12 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Vigga | +1.06 | 74 | 70 |
| #5 | kQrsfarereN | +0.85 | 79 | 68 |





