








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 269 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 52 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5594 | 32% |
| Smokes | 4724 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 4617 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 2335 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,337,165 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | Kingsdeathh | 56% | 27 |
| #3 | boostedfucktard | 55% | 84 |
| #4 | 𝘼𝙨𝙝𝘿𝙚𝙢 | 53% | 55 |
| #5 | qixL ♥ | 52% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | fQrtune | 47% | 76 |
| #11 | L1mit | 46% | 37 |
| #12 | delainé | 44% | 25 |
| #13 | clyde frag | 40% | 25 |
| #14 | snify | 33% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 25 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Muzi | 10 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | 𝘼𝙨𝙝𝘿𝙚𝙢 | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | qixL ♥ | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 3 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 415 | 0.07 | 11 min |
| #2 | 𝘼𝙨𝙝𝘿𝙚𝙢 | 186 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #3 | fQrtune | 168 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Muzi | 164 | 0.05 | 5 min |
| #5 | boostedfucktard | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fQrtune | +2.21 | 90 | 62 |
| #2 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | +2.16 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | qixL ♥ | +2.05 | 82 | 57 |
| #4 | somwonlikeu ⛧ | +1.60 | 37 | 68 |
| #5 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | +1.48 | 76 | 64 |





