








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 872 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 125 matches | ||
| Faceit | 63 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3173 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,446 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3979 | 32% |
| Smokes | 2746 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4035 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1686 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $508,280 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hoonigæn | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 5 | 0.0084 |
| #3 | L1mit | 4 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | dilara9361 | 3 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | rynqz | 2 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dilara9361 | 315 | 0.09 | 9 min |
| #2 | hoonigæn | 171 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #3 | L1mit | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | rynqz | 64 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | fQrtune | 60 | 0.14 | 2 min |





