








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 208 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 355 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3359 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,901 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1885 | 17% |
| Smokes | 3213 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4408 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 1395 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,182,244 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 90 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qixL ♥ | 53% | 127 |
| #2 | hoonigæn | 52% | 137 |
| #3 | boostedfucktard | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | apo | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 50% | 70 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | boostedfucktard | 51% | 114 |
| #4 | apo | 50% | 54 |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 50% | 70 |
| #6 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 50% | 389 |
| #7 | 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮=) | 41% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 36 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | apo | 10 | 0.0098 |
| #3 | hoonigæn | 7 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | qixL ♥ | 7 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 5 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 537 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | hoonigæn | 418 | 0.14 | 13 min |
| #3 | qixL ♥ | 150 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | boostedfucktard | 144 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 126 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qixL ♥ | +2.57 | 84 | 54 |
| #2 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | +2.27 | 78 | 61 |
| #3 | hoonigæn | +1.02 | 80 | 77 |
| #4 | boostedfucktard | -0.37 | 68 | 64 |
| #5 | 𝓥𝓲𝓼𝓲𝓫𝓵𝓮=) | -0.95 | 54 | 49 |





