








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 20 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Faceit | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2732 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,920 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1485 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1454 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 2506 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 2475 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $320,955 of utility $59 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cok3 | 53% | 30 |
| #2 | Muzi | 53% | 127 |
| #3 | hoonigæn | 52% | 61 |
| #4 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 50% | 143 |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 50% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 50% | 26 |
| #6 | boostedfucktard | 48% | 54 |
| #7 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 43% | 49 |
| #8 | delainé | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | Eazzyy17 | 33% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Muzi | 4 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | hoonigæn | 2 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | boostedfucktard | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | 177 | 0.06 | 4 min |
| #2 | hoonigæn | 152 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | Muzi | 111 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | 91 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | boostedfucktard | 47 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | qixL ♥ | +1.65 | 84 | 58 |
| #2 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | +0.99 | 76 | 61 |
| #3 | hoonigæn | +0.56 | 80 | 78 |
| #4 | ⭕⃤ Flasche | +0.43 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | Cok3 | -0.37 | 63 | 65 |





