








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 457 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 629 matches | ||
| Wingman | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 54 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




57 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
9019 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5328 | 23% |
| Smokes | 6198 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 7006 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 4219 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,915,464 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1683 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fQrtune | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | boostedfucktard | 53% | 154 |
| #3 | qixL ♥ | 50% | 143 |
| #4 | hoonigæn | 50% | 261 |
| #5 | Muzi | 50% | 389 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Muzi | 32 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | hoonigæn | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | boostedfucktard | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | qixL ♥ | 6 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Kingsdeathh | 6 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fQrtune | +2.19 | 90 | 63 |
| #2 | qixL ♥ | +1.94 | 83 | 58 |
| #3 | FLX *DIMETHYLTRYPTAMIN | +1.54 | 75 | 63 |
| #4 | hoonigæn | +1.09 | 81 | 76 |
| #5 | snify | -0.05 | 63 | 73 |





