








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 700 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 199 matches | ||
| Premier | 162 matches | ||
| Faceit | 133 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 52 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Renown | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 25 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7241 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,868 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5024 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4287 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 5875 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 4682 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,166,106 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 808 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chrissigrue | 58% | 81 |
| #2 | CrawL | 56% | 54 |
| #3 | anou_key | 54% | 35 |
| #4 | Basey | 54% | 233 |
| #5 | Clownmity | 53% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Basey | 13 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Glantor | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | Hirney | 7 | 0.0022 |
| #4 | chrissigrue | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Clownmity | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LES Estenay | 602 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #2 | Hirney | 468 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #3 | Glantor | 378 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #4 | STEGE | 184 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #5 | Basey | 178 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | S P R A Y K Ö N I G | +2.52 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | CrawL | +1.38 | 72 | 56 |
| #3 | Basey | +1.37 | 72 | 48 |
| #4 | LES JustJerry | +1.16 | 64 | 57 |
| #5 | STEGE | +1.09 | 75 | 68 |





