








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 387 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2014 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3769 | 30% |
| Smokes | 2994 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2670 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 2965 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $867,023 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2254 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS Omnipotence | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Meatwad | 42% | 107 |
| #3 | Reaper | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS Omnipotence | 53% | 19 |
| #2 | Meatwad | 42% | 107 |
| #3 | Reaper | 42% | 62 |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 13 | 0.0058 |
| #2 | Dr_P_Za | 5 | 0.0132 |
| #3 | Reaper | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | CS Omnipotence | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meatwad | 558 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | Reaper | 150 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #3 | CS Omnipotence | 92 | 0.23 | 2 min |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | 82 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CS Omnipotence | +3.18 | 70 | 60 |
| #2 | Reaper | +0.76 | 54 | 46 |
| #3 | Meatwad | +0.61 | 42 | 61 |
| #4 | Dr_P_Za | -1.05 | 63 | 61 |
| #5 | Bananayourjamas | -1.87 | 36 | 64 |





