








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 572 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 118 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3020 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,395 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1958 | 17% |
| Smokes | 2402 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5098 | 45% |
| Molotovs | 1937 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,910,286 of utility $270 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 154 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 64% | 33 |
| #2 | x-pl0it | 61% | 33 |
| #3 | Egeland | 55% | 170 |
| #4 | Justluck8 | 52% | 62 |
| #5 | .teil | 47% | 107 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #15 | Wuffelschnuffel | 38% | 34 |
| #16 | [bF] Drupp Highnckes [GER] | 38% | 40 |
| #17 | [bF] Günter Fetzer ✪ | 36% | 75 |
| #18 | FABINSKii | 34% | 122 |
| #19 | メルビンGaregos | 31% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †vac Euron† | 7 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | Egeland | 6 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Ken0 | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | .teil | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | [bF] Günter Fetzer ✪ | 4 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Egeland | 231 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #2 | メルビンGaregos | 184 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | Justluck8 | 168 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Hard | 147 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | 112 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | †vac Euron† | +2.85 | 71 | 55 |
| #2 | Wuffelschnuffel | +2.83 | 71 | 47 |
| #3 | Egeland | +2.35 | 44 | 69 |
| #4 | MɅXIMVS MIKE | +1.89 | 72 | 56 |
| #5 | nikoo | +1.83 | 52 | 56 |





