








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 152 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1506 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,661 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1385 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2464 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 2222 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 2590 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $78,298 of utility $15 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 7 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | spGEEッ | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | gravityy | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | dav0ke | 56% | 55 |
| #4 | p | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | Corn | 41% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dav0ke | 5 | 0.0046 |
| #2 | p | 4 | 0.0107 |
| #3 | spGEEッ | 3 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | Corn | 2 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | gravityy | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dav0ke | 167 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #2 | Corn | 97 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #3 | p | 78 | 0.21 | 2 min |
| #4 | spGEEッ | 54 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #5 | gravityy | 52 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | gravityy | +6.05 | 92 | 63 |
| #2 | dav0ke | +4.47 | 79 | 76 |
| #3 | p | +2.52 | 73 | 61 |
| #4 | spGEEッ | +2.22 | 74 | 68 |
| #5 | EL HOTDOG | -1.24 | 27 | 52 |





