








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 271 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 174 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 26 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2759 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3194 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2117 | 17% |
| HE Grenades | 4073 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 2870 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,621 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 173 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Krümeleistee | 60% | 115 |
| #2 | Tobiyo | 54% | 179 |
| #3 | Ramsy Doller | 52% | 42 |
| #4 | Dinkelberg | 50% | 130 |
| #5 | Flo! | 50% | 133 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo! | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Dinkelberg | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Krümeleistee | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Tobiyo | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Ramsy Doller | 2 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Flo | 642 | 0.20 | 16 min |
| #2 | Tobiyo | 410 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #3 | Flo! | 393 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #4 | Dinkelberg | 381 | 0.14 | 11 min |
| #5 | Krümeleistee | 288 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo! | +2.22 | 73 | 68 |
| #2 | ツ KaiiiK ™ | +1.74 | 66 | 69 |
| #3 | Krümeleistee | +0.76 | 76 | 56 |
| #4 | Tobiyo | -0.30 | 69 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪Flo | -0.71 | 56 | 58 |





