








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,228 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 968 | 23% |
| Smokes | 959 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1437 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 864 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $551,946 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ツ KaiiiK ™ | 52% | 42 |
| #2 | Krümeleistee | 50% | 44 |
| #3 | Prascha | 44% | 62 |
| #4 | Mati el lama | 40% | 15 |
| #5 | ✪Flo | 40% | 55 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪Flo | 40% | 55 |
| #6 | Tobiyo | 39% | 85 |
| #7 | Dinkelberg | 37% | 46 |
| #8 | Flo! | 35% | 43 |
| #9 | Biekachu | 23% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo! | 3 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | Tobiyo | 2 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ✪Flo | 2 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Krümeleistee | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | ツ KaiiiK ™ | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪Flo | 226 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| #2 | Tobiyo | 189 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #3 | ツ KaiiiK ™ | 176 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #4 | Flo! | 165 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | Dinkelberg | 146 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flo! | +2.78 | 79 | 66 |
| #2 | ツ KaiiiK ™ | +2.42 | 64 | 70 |
| #3 | Krümeleistee | +1.88 | 70 | 49 |
| #4 | Tobiyo | +0.82 | 71 | 57 |
| #5 | ✪Flo | +0.15 | 63 | 58 |





