










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 138 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 185 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2059 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,584 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1777 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2429 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 924 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 1454 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $567,963 of utility $103 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 31 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLEMAN | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | babyjoda | 5 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 4 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Skitzo_2 | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | J̶w̶E̶r̶T̶y̶ | 3 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNCLEMAN | 331 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | KolmioMafian Presidentti | 209 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #3 | j0daym4stah | 203 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | Skitzo_2 | 200 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #5 | SAULINIINISTÖÖ | 193 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | babyjoda | +4.33 | 76 | 74 |
| #2 | j0daym4stah | +3.57 | 76 | 75 |
| #3 | Skitzo_2 | +2.73 | 67 | 78 |
| #4 | Pyöveli | +0.96 | 56 | 68 |
| #5 | Jopessi | +0.24 | 55 | 68 |





