








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 995 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 425 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4492 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,166 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7675 | 30% |
| Smokes | 6271 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5872 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 5348 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,028,503 of utility $89 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1118 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sNack | 71% | 42 |
| #2 | ErkkiT | 56% | 43 |
| #3 | AnjaT | 52% | 64 |
| #4 | Kurwa Bober | 51% | 112 |
| #5 | Ynnej | 50% | 42 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Krargobus [M] | 46% | 110 |
| #13 | ErkkiT | 46% | 81 |
| #14 | Sir Allar | 45% | 119 |
| #15 | TEHU | 43% | 40 |
| #16 | M1kstarFTW | 38% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarkuT | 17 | 0.0055 |
| #2 | sNack | 7 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Char | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Sir Allar | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | ErkkiT | 3 | 0.0018 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MarkuT | 511 | 0.16 | 11 min |
| #2 | Sir Allar | 231 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Krargobus [M] | 198 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kurwa Bober | 160 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | ErkkiT | 156 | 0.09 | 4 min |





