








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 629 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 222 matches | ||
| Premier | 221 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3213 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,608 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4021 | 22% |
| Smokes | 5514 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 5664 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3409 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,087,178 of utility $199 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 414 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | JaansKA:_D | 48% | 79 |
| #11 | Por1lainen | 48% | 217 |
| #12 | Scorbutus | 46% | 28 |
| #13 | Jarski | 43% | 28 |
| #14 | Peltis | 33% | 27 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Por1lainen | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #2 | JaansKA:_D | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | naMu | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | frs | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | Kapybara | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frs | 1083 | 0.15 | 30 min |
| #2 | Kapybara | 760 | 0.18 | 19 min |
| #3 | Por1lainen | 522 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #4 | JaansKA:_D | 390 | 0.22 | 9 min |
| #5 | naMu | 249 | 0.17 | 8 min |





