








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 517 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 178 matches | ||
| Premier | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2391 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,891 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2768 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4189 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2538 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3396 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,502,462 of utility $191 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 233 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | naMu | 61% | 46 |
| #2 | Jarski | 58% | 66 |
| #3 | Pandemy | 56% | 81 |
| #4 | Kakefuri | 54% | 35 |
| #5 | Kapybara | 54% | 170 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | 🅴🆇 1 🆃🅸🆄🅼 | 52% | 48 |
| #11 | cc | 52% | 91 |
| #12 | JaansKA:_D | 48% | 62 |
| #13 | puikale | 48% | 61 |
| #14 | NiQezerino | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarski | 8 | 0.0057 |
| #2 | Por1lainen | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | JaansKA:_D | 3 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | 🅴🆇 1 🆃🅸🆄🅼 | 3 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | naMu | 3 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frs | 960 | 0.15 | 28 min |
| #2 | Kapybara | 652 | 0.18 | 16 min |
| #3 | Por1lainen | 447 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | cc | 435 | 0.24 | 13 min |
| #5 | JaansKA:_D | 298 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jarski | +2.91 | 77 | 68 |
| #2 | NiQezerino | +2.64 | 63 | 66 |
| #3 | Kapybara | +2.15 | 66 | 79 |
| #4 | Por1lainen | +0.27 | 46 | 67 |
| #5 | Greenie | +0.17 | 46 | 60 |





