








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 310 matches | ||
| Faceit | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 57 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3705 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,025 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6023 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6878 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 5746 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3378 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,281,001 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 110 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BoB | 66% | 44 |
| #2 | jcbsrl | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | LilKrokodil | 60% | 35 |
| #4 | Newbie1Kenobi | 57% | 77 |
| #5 | frewd | 54% | 242 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | W Gamer | 48% | 25 |
| #10 | Newmountain^ | 46% | 26 |
| #11 | HaGeL | 45% | 49 |
| #12 | Mlorph | 43% | 81 |
| #13 | DumTs ♠ | 26% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qopy | 13 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | frewd | 8 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | DumTs ♠ | 6 | 0.0067 |
| #4 | ^؟≪?ness؟≪? | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | Cicolas Nage #Skinsmonkey | 5 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frewd | 556 | 0.11 | 16 min |
| #2 | ^؟≪?ness؟≪? | 502 | 0.15 | 14 min |
| #3 | Qopy | 472 | 0.14 | 12 min |
| #4 | Cicolas Nage #Skinsmonkey | 351 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #5 | DumTs ♠ | 127 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ^؟≪?ness؟≪? | +2.18 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | frewd | +1.63 | 69 | 66 |
| #3 | Newmountain^ | +1.19 | 34 | 67 |
| #4 | LilKrokodil | +1.13 | 81 | 64 |
| #5 | jcbsrl | +0.89 | 68 | 66 |





