








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1044 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 462 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 44 matches | ||
| Wingman | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 7 matches | ||
| Esplay | 4 matches | 1,601 | |
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 24 different maps





Our logs show 80 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 32,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8723 | 27% |
| Smokes | 9001 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7765 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6763 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,174,993 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Newmountain^ | 47% | 59 |
| #9 | W Gamer | 46% | 61 |
| #10 | Newbie1Kenobi | 46% | 142 |
| #11 | Qopy | 45% | 231 |
| #12 | Clipy The Penguin | 40% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qopy | 21 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Newmountain^ | 7 | 0.0060 |
| #3 | Op1e | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Newbie1Kenobi | 6 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | LilKrokodil | 6 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Qopy | 653 | 0.14 | 17 min |
| #2 | Op1e | 600 | 0.18 | 18 min |
| #3 | Newmountain^ | 197 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #4 | Cicolas Nage #Skinsmonkey | 171 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #5 | frewd | 143 | 0.12 | 4 min |





