








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 559 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 207 matches | ||
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 86 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3831 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,510 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4413 | 33% |
| Smokes | 3014 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4184 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1899 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,063,758 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 128 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | DumTs ♠ | 50% | 20 |
| #11 | Cicolas Nage #Skinsmonkey | 46% | 89 |
| #12 | HaGeL | 44% | 52 |
| #13 | Mlorph | 44% | 34 |
| #14 | Lolmister | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Op1e | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | ^؟≪?ness؟≪? | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Qopy | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | ✪ Johnny Drama | 3 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Newbie1Kenobi | 3 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Op1e | 764 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #2 | Cicolas Nage #Skinsmonkey | 290 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #3 | ^؟≪?ness؟≪? | 166 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| #4 | Qopy | 166 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #5 | ✪ Johnny Drama | 139 | 0.13 | 4 min |





