








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 198 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1828 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,897 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1384 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1926 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 1887 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1700 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $835,821 of utility $179 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kalle | 55% | 183 |
| #2 | Kevo | 53% | 189 |
| #3 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 53% | 206 |
| #4 | joel | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | Rymy-Eetu | 48% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Kevo | 53% | 189 |
| #3 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 53% | 206 |
| #4 | joel | 51% | 189 |
| #5 | Rymy-Eetu | 48% | 44 |
| #6 | hallis | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 5 | 0.0011 |
| #2 | joel | 5 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | Kalle | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Kevo | 3 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 1207 | 0.26 | 33 min |
| #2 | joel | 685 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #3 | Kevo | 372 | 0.09 | 10 min |
| #4 | Kalle | 362 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| #5 | Rymy-Eetu | 47 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kevo | +1.50 | 89 | 71 |
| #2 | joel | +1.23 | 72 | 76 |
| #3 | Kalle | +0.31 | 86 | 64 |
| #4 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | -0.58 | 48 | 79 |
| #5 | JJ | -1.06 | 55 | 61 |





