








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 43 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 98 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,271 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1598 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1538 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 1198 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $555,269 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 37 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VilleS | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | Kalle | 62% | 71 |
| #3 | erno | 62% | 34 |
| #4 | Jho | 62% | 13 |
| #5 | Kevo | 57% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Kevo | 57% | 93 |
| #6 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 57% | 95 |
| #7 | joel | 55% | 106 |
| #8 | Rymy-Eetu | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | JJ | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joel | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 2 | 0.0009 |
| #3 | erno | 2 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | VilleS | 2 | 0.0104 |
| #5 | Kevo | 1 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OneManArmy *MrNorecoil* | 433 | 0.20 | 12 min |
| #2 | joel | 339 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | Kevo | 185 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #4 | Kalle | 131 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | erno | 111 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VilleS | +4.96 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | Jho | +1.41 | 71 | 62 |
| #3 | Kevo | +1.24 | 89 | 71 |
| #4 | joel | +0.89 | 74 | 76 |
| #5 | hallis | +0.28 | 69 | 62 |





