








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 182 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2072 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1097 | 18% |
| Smokes | 1826 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2037 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1292 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $861,459 of utility $178 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 48 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 58% | 38 |
| #2 | Muffe | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | Pinku | 51% | 100 |
| #4 | eskimo | 49% | 158 |
| #5 | pieps | 48% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | frstrm | 47% | 88 |
| #8 | tommo | 43% | 88 |
| #9 | Susihac | 42% | 38 |
| #10 | xDeee | 37% | 30 |
| #11 | Sonight | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamee | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Pinku | 4 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | frstrm | 4 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Susihac | 3 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | frstrm | 363 | 0.19 | 11 min |
| #2 | Flamee | 348 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| #3 | eskimo | 311 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #4 | Pinku | 180 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| #5 | Muffe | 161 | 0.27 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | +4.02 | 61 | 73 |
| #2 | Pinku | +1.37 | 59 | 79 |
| #3 | Muffe | +1.14 | 72 | 88 |
| #4 | xDeee | +1.09 | 54 | 74 |
| #5 | Flamee | +0.63 | 61 | 66 |





