








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 941 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 381 matches | ||
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 64 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4518 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,565 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5663 | 29% |
| Smokes | 5175 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4829 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3898 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,910 of utility $98 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 26 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 55% | 94 |
| #2 | Susihac | 55% | 38 |
| #3 | Muffe | 54% | 82 |
| #4 | McLiima | 51% | 100 |
| #5 | Flamee | 48% | 366 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | eskimo | 47% | 340 |
| #8 | pieps | 47% | 223 |
| #9 | tommo | 46% | 256 |
| #10 | xDeee | 36% | 25 |
| #11 | Sonight | 32% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamee | 17 | 0.0022 |
| #2 | pieps | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #3 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 5 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | eskimo | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | tommo | 4 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamee | 835 | 0.11 | 20 min |
| #2 | eskimo | 753 | 0.10 | 19 min |
| #3 | Muffe | 453 | 0.26 | 14 min |
| #4 | pieps | 416 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #5 | frstrm | 407 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | +2.71 | 64 | 71 |
| #2 | Pinku | +1.67 | 62 | 77 |
| #3 | Muffe | +1.11 | 76 | 85 |
| #4 | Flamee | +0.64 | 58 | 68 |
| #5 | Susihac | +0.38 | 77 | 76 |





