








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 574 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 502 matches | ||
| Faceit | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 45 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3471 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 30,141 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8232 | 27% |
| Smokes | 6944 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 8040 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 6925 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $738,487 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 46 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 52% | 151 |
| #2 | McLiima | 49% | 158 |
| #3 | frstrm | 48% | 190 |
| #4 | Muffe | 47% | 106 |
| #5 | Pinku | 47% | 340 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamee | 17 | 0.0017 |
| #2 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Pinku | 8 | 0.0011 |
| #4 | McLiima | 7 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | frstrm | 5 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flamee | 1069 | 0.11 | 25 min |
| #2 | frstrm | 667 | 0.17 | 21 min |
| #3 | Pinku | 595 | 0.08 | 17 min |
| #4 | Muffe | 589 | 0.26 | 17 min |
| #5 | tommo | 514 | 0.07 | 14 min |





