








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 739 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 503 matches | ||
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5389 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,721 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5376 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6035 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4512 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 4798 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,957,572 of utility $159 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | eskimo | 45% | 466 |
| #9 | pieps | 45% | 273 |
| #10 | tommo | 44% | 363 |
| #11 | Sonight | 40% | 63 |
| #12 | xDeee | 24% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | McLiima | 10 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | eskimo | 8 | 0.0008 |
| #3 | ILIAS * Coca-Cola® | 8 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Pinku | 7 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | tommo | 4 | 0.0005 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eskimo | 996 | 0.10 | 25 min |
| #2 | frstrm | 673 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #3 | Muffe | 652 | 0.25 | 20 min |
| #4 | Pinku | 625 | 0.08 | 19 min |
| #5 | tommo | 510 | 0.07 | 14 min |





