








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 407 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 163 matches | ||
| Premier | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 95 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1802 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,080 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1085 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1834 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2352 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1809 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,119,192 of utility $214 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 9 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jojo fantaisie | 59% | 22 |
| #2 | Bobze | 56% | 66 |
| #3 | Geronimo | 52% | 140 |
| #4 | Y9WANN ✠ | 52% | 160 |
| #5 | n44s | 51% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bobze | 56% | 66 |
| #3 | Geronimo | 52% | 140 |
| #4 | Y9WANN ✠ | 52% | 160 |
| #5 | n44s | 51% | 111 |
| #6 | ><))> | 48% | 84 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9WANN ✠ | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | ><))> | 3 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Geronimo | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | n44s | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | Bobze | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9WANN ✠ | 1089 | 0.31 | 34 min |
| #2 | Geronimo | 411 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | n44s | 362 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #4 | Bobze | 258 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #5 | ><))> | 122 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n44s | +2.01 | 82 | 80 |
| #2 | Geronimo | +1.28 | 65 | 75 |
| #3 | Bobze | +1.16 | 80 | 58 |
| #4 | Jojo fantaisie | +0.93 | 55 | 62 |
| #5 | Y9WANN ✠ | +0.82 | 62 | 73 |





