








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 287 matches | ||
| Faceit | 226 matches | ||
| Renown | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4940 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,534 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6219 | 28% |
| Smokes | 7261 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4085 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 4969 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,823,566 of utility $152 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 153 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ><))> | 51% | 335 |
| #4 | Y9WANN ✠ | 49% | 194 |
| #5 | The german Bulldozer | 48% | 46 |
| #6 | Geronimo | 46% | 197 |
| #7 | Darky | 45% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | n44s | +1.18 | 84 | 82 |
| #2 | Geronimo | +1.12 | 68 | 76 |
| #3 | Bobze | +0.87 | 78 | 63 |
| #4 | Y9WANN ✠ | +0.11 | 63 | 73 |
| #5 | The german Bulldozer | -0.16 | 58 | 61 |





