








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 760 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 244 matches | ||
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 61 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3905 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4806 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4208 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4986 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4101 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,489,612 of utility $171 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 54 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geronimo | 57% | 272 |
| #2 | Bobze | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | Y9WANN ✠ | 55% | 301 |
| #4 | Jojo fantaisie | 55% | 86 |
| #5 | Alex-PW | 51% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Bobze | 56% | 103 |
| #3 | Y9WANN ✠ | 55% | 301 |
| #4 | Jojo fantaisie | 55% | 86 |
| #5 | Alex-PW | 51% | 111 |
| #6 | ><))> | 47% | 135 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9WANN ✠ | 12 | 0.0018 |
| #2 | Geronimo | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Alex-PW | 3 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | ><))> | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | Bobze | 2 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Y9WANN ✠ | 1780 | 0.27 | 51 min |
| #2 | Geronimo | 832 | 0.14 | 23 min |
| #3 | Bobze | 330 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | ><))> | 142 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Jojo fantaisie | 126 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Geronimo | +1.54 | 70 | 74 |
| #2 | n44s | +1.44 | 83 | 78 |
| #3 | Y9WANN ✠ | -0.12 | 61 | 69 |
| #4 | Bobze | -0.16 | 77 | 59 |
| #5 | ><))> | -0.77 | 75 | 57 |





