








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 263 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2407 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,904 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1607 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2096 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3128 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2073 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,149 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 572 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bil328 | 59% | 69 |
| #2 | s1k20 | 50% | 224 |
| #3 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 50% | 194 |
| #4 | Shady Watermelon | 45% | 103 |
| #5 | Morok | 41% | 34 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 50% | 194 |
| #4 | Shady Watermelon | 45% | 103 |
| #5 | Morok | 41% | 34 |
| #6 | pumba | 41% | 61 |
| #7 | Hookey | 38% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 4 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | s1k20 | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Morok | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | pumba | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 903 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #2 | s1k20 | 228 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | Shady Watermelon | 157 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Bil328 | 105 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #5 | pumba | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | +2.78 | 81 | 67 |
| #2 | s1k20 | +1.36 | 79 | 48 |
| #3 | Shady Watermelon | -0.44 | 72 | 60 |
| #4 | Bil328 | -0.80 | 54 | 57 |
| #5 | KingCrabeN | -1.04 | 75 | 53 |





