








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 294 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 173 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2421 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2189 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1908 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2863 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2870 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $903,988 of utility $156 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 122 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Bil328 | 46% | 57 |
| #6 | pumba | 45% | 122 |
| #7 | KingCrabeN | 45% | 103 |
| #8 | Hookey | 42% | 43 |
| #9 | Morok | 31% | 16 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | pumba | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | s1k20 | 2 | 0.0005 |
| #4 | KingCrabeN | 1 | 0.0005 |
| #5 | Hookey | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 1069 | 0.26 | 34 min |
| #2 | s1k20 | 238 | 0.06 | 5 min |
| #3 | pumba | 194 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | KingCrabeN | 191 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Bil328 | 101 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | +3.26 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | s1k20 | +1.06 | 80 | 53 |
| #3 | Erezi | +0.40 | 74 | 45 |
| #4 | Shady Watermelon | -0.06 | 73 | 64 |
| #5 | KingCrabeN | -1.18 | 75 | 53 |





