








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1002 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 512 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6336 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,010 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2440 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5133 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 4143 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 2294 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,270,778 of utility $173 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 534 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 51% | 406 |
| #2 | KingCrabeN | 50% | 224 |
| #3 | Bil328 | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | Shady Watermelon | 46% | 197 |
| #5 | pumba | 45% | 146 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Bil328 | 47% | 137 |
| #4 | Shady Watermelon | 46% | 197 |
| #5 | pumba | 45% | 146 |
| #6 | Morok | 43% | 42 |
| #7 | Hookey | 42% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 10 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | pumba | 6 | 0.0019 |
| #3 | KingCrabeN | 4 | 0.0009 |
| #4 | Hookey | 1 | 0.0006 |
| #5 | Morok | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | 2061 | 0.25 | 65 min |
| #2 | KingCrabeN | 371 | 0.08 | 9 min |
| #3 | Shady Watermelon | 282 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #4 | pumba | 222 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bil328 | 196 | 0.08 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ThaLoudBanshee FUU-SAN |Банши 夭 | +2.89 | 82 | 66 |
| #2 | s1k20 | +1.45 | 79 | 50 |
| #3 | Shady Watermelon | -0.74 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | Bil328 | -1.10 | 51 | 55 |
| #5 | KingCrabeN | -1.11 | 74 | 53 |





